Deep thoughts uncovered

Location…

Reading time

I´m sitting here in a small home office just off the beach in Miami Platja, Spain; It´s thundering and lightening outside; the internet has cut off; I´m tired; I´m drinking rum and coke; drum and bass is playing loud; I´ve just consumed a whole chocolate bunny proving I still have a strong chocolate addiction; and I´ve had a day of ups and downs emotionally.

Not another typical blog post…

Chilling after the first hike

I personally think – although other people such as my mum would disagree – that my blog posts are becoming a bit monotonous. I´m going to keep changing the way I write. I like change, what can I say. Today, I´m going to write a very personal blog post. I´ve chosen to share it with you because I am open, I always have been, and I always will be.

Happiness…

Dr Martens in full force

From reading previous posts, you may think that I live everyday in total happiness, this is simply not true. What is true is that I am having what people commonly say as “the time of my life”, but that doesn´t necessarily mean I´m having a great time everyday – I have bad times, but without bad times, I would never truly appreciate the good times. When I have bad times I feel like I can´t think clearly; I feel numb of emotion; I don´t really feel like doing anything; or talking to anyone, slight depression perhaps, but not strong enough to control me because I always see when I´m falling, and I always do something about it – something positive. I´m writing this post not for sympathy but for answers. Does everyone feel like this from time to time? What´s the difference between depression and having a “down day”? My inner happiness seems to be on a roller coaster, unstable to be more precise.

Self-observation…

Magical walk in the forest

I´ve thought about what could be contributing to such unstability, and can only think of a mixture of health problems, and other people´s happiness around me. I have a back injury at the moment which I´ve had for nearly 6 weeks. It´s on the upper left side of my back where I´m experiencing numbness – sometimes combined with pain. I stopped physical work 3 weeks ago, after 2 weeks it was feeling a bit better, and then I lifted something again last week causing the numbness to come back. I´ve been the doctor who wasn´t very helpful, and I´ve researched the hell out of it on Google – probably not wise giving the amount of terrible advice/information floating around on the Internet. I´ve been doing scapular wall slides, and started training my back with light weights along with abdominal exercises. I´m really hoping I fully recover as it´s on my mind all the time, probably the primary cause of unhappiness.

The secondary cause I think is the people around me. I believe being around happy people, or no people at all, really helps maintain stability of happiness. At the moment, there is pain all around me, both physical, and emotional pain. I am always there for people who suffer emotional pain, even if I can´t relate personally to their problems, I always try to give sensible advice. At the moment, with my own injury I am restricted from helping the people suffering physical pain – this frustrates me, but I know I need to be in good health before I can help others. I´ve also noticed I´ve started to become a bit of a hypercondriact. I am worrying about health problems too much – thinking the worst at all times. I´m positively acting on my health problems, and soon when I´m recovered I will be able to help others more actively. Let´s hope my health problems aren´t as bad as I think and I have a speedy recovery.

The things I miss and the things I don´t miss…

Sad to leave

I´ve been travelling for 5 months now; and I´ve experienced a lot of different lifestyles, personalities, and emotions. All these things have contributed to this list of things I miss and don´t miss about my life back at home.

Things I miss

  • My mother – my friend, the fun times we always have together.
  • My bro Jay, and stealing all his things
  • Partying very hard to drum and bass/dubstep/progressive house
  • Making DJ mixes in my room on my turntables
  • My job as a Web Developer
  • My cute little cat Miow
  • Going fishing with my friend Kerwin
  • Random conversations with my friend Chris
  • Playing sport
  • Fish and chips with curry sauce

Things I don´t miss

  • Stress – something which started happening too often
  • The routine of a 9-5 job.
  • Having too many material possessions.
  • Spending too much time on the computer – something I´m doing right now

Experiences while travelling…

Chaz birthday party - all the family

Travelling gives you a big opportunity to try new things, here is a list of things I´ve been lucky enough to experience on my travels through France and Spain.

  • Tasting traditional French and Spanish food from excellent cooks
  • The ability to speak basic French but not understand the people
  • Skiing in the snowy peaks of Saint-Lary
  • Horse riding in the foothills of the Pyrenees
  • Back to basic living in a straw bale house
  • Listen to traditional/new French and Spanish music
  • Watching F.C Barcelona beat Valencia 5-1
  • Hiking in the rocky mountains of Sierra de Llaberia
  • Meeting lots of new people all the time, hate some, love some
  • Gaining the focus to write some lyrics for music, and write various rhymes.

Going to bed…

A happy hiker

I hope everyone is doing okay in life, and that you are all striving for internal happiness. Until next time, peace and love, Jonathan x

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3 Responses

  1. chris says:

    Good post mate, very deep. Some great photos as well. Curry sauce on fish and chips – not sure about that!

    chris

  2. SAM says:

    Chips with curry sauce is high on my list of things that I miss too.

    Maybe a raw food diet would help with your mood swings? Alcohol and chocolate both give sugar highs with the associated lows afterwards, no wonder you don’t know if you are happy or sad. Go for a good run or swim every day and get your blood flowing, that usually works well for me.

    Liking your lists, mebbe I might do the same sometime, though I think that I need to be abroad to write (in the UK now)

    Keep safe, keep well and keep having fun.

    SAM

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